In Step 10 of the AA 12X12, Bill W. writes, "It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us." IB would have us look at what we are doing or saying that is causing this upset. For me these negative feelings are a gift. (Although that may not be my initial reaction.) They are a signal that something inside me needs to change; that I have made my reputation (my ego) or this person or this situation or this thing more important than loving, valuing and caring for myself. This might make people who push my buttons my most important teachers. Once I have centered myself with the 6 steps of IB, then I can respond to the situation rather than react to it. It's been said the three hardest things for a human being to do are returning love for hate, admitting when I'm wrong and including the excluded. This doesn't mean I won't feel hurt, scared or angry. It means that handling my emotions is my responsibility, not the people around me. There is no courage without fear, there is no faith without doubt and to be able to fully love, I must embrace my potential to hate. God provides the power to do the thing I do not feel like doing.

Alanon's ONE DAY AT A TIME IN ALANON (penned by Lois?) on April 29 says this:

A little meditation on the word forgive can throw some surprising light on our understanding of the word.
We are asked to forgive those who have injured us. Unless we have first judged and condemned them for what they did, there would be no reason to for us to forgive them. Rather we would have to forgive ourselves for judging.

Scriptures says: "Judge not that you be not judged." If we do judge-no matter how great the injury or how premeditated-we are at fault. Following this train of thought to its logical conclusion, we see that we can forgive only ourselves. In doing so, we also forgive the person whose action we have resented.

Today's Reminder "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" tells me I must first make peace with myself before I can learn to love others. I must remind myself constantly that I can never know any other person's motives and conditioning. I must for my own sake, accept them as they are. A large ingredient of that acceptance is loving tolerance.

"Father forgive them, for they know not what they do." (Luke)

"And forgive me for judging and retaliating. Help me to forgive myself; I know this is the first step toward spiritual security."

The word resent comes from a word that means to re-feel. I replay the incident over and over in my mind and they get wronger and wronger and I get righter and righter. No wonder I feel so bad! Prayer does change things, it changes me. A story in the back of the AA book suggests we pray for the people we feel resentful toward, even if we don't yet mean it. It suggests we pray for their health, properity and happiness for two weeks and see what happens.

A Course in Miracles says that there is only love and calls for love. It says that peace of mind should be my only goal and that forgiveness is my only way to get it.

Please remember to be gentle with yourself.